Fire Your Flaky Friends
Fire Your Flaky Friends
By Matthew Shack
"Fire your flaky friends. They take your time, sap your energy and pull you down. Call them, write them, or tell them you cannot be friends with them any longer.”- Michael Levine [Best-selling author and founder of Levine Communication Office]
Fire your flaky friends, they are holding you back
It sounds very cold and heartless to speak of persons so close to you in such noxious fashion but ultimately, it is at your own peril if you do not get rid of them.
Robert Greene’s classic National Best Seller “The 48 Laws of Power” speaks on the precarious macrocosm of friendships very early in text.
Law #2:” Never put too much trust in friends and learn how to use enemies.”
As stated in the book, “A Chinese proverb compares friends to the jaws and teeth of a dangerous animal; if you are not careful you will find them chewing you up.” Firing your flaky friends is a useful extension of this particular proverb.
Ultimately, friends are far more influential than most people give them credit for.
You want to believe in your friends. You want to trust your friends. You want to rely on your friends. This is just human nature because who in their right mind would want a friend who exemplifies its antithesis?
But therein lies the rub of what you as a true friend must genuinely pay attention to.
If you are a person who is firm in your presumption that honor, trust and loyalty are essential axioms within the landscape of friendship; you are definitely doing your friends a major disservice by not cutting them off when they become flaky.
We all have been in a position where a personal friend has promised to do something for us only to flake on us without notice.
Flaking on a real friend by simply not calling, showing up or coming up with lame excuses while leaving them hanging out to dry is not friendship. It is called ‘flakiness’, and I would be hard pressed to believe that you were more than angry whenever these circumstances have occurred in your own life experiences.
It is not about having over-expectations as a friend; it is about exhibiting common courtesy.
Just say you cannot do it or you do not want to do it instead of flaking.
Call the person and tell them you are not coming or you are going to be a bit late, in advance. The truth is always more useful than a lie.
To have friends; be a damn a friend! True Friends have the right to say, “No.”
Sometimes a friend’s flakiness may come from a lack of desire to be directly involved in your situation, and/or the fear of telling you the truth regarding it.
I have told more than a few of my friends in the past, “If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t call me! Liars don’t answer this number.”
Do not get mad. Do not get even. Get to stepping. "Fire your flaky-ass friends."
With friends you are far more vulnerable than you would be with total strangers. If your guard is down, you are open to disappointment because you do not view a friend as the person who will do the disappointing.
When dealing with flakes, terminating, ostracizing and starving them of your presence is far more effective than just being angry. They are essential learning tools to a would-be friend.
When you become the kind of friend who does what do you say religiously, your flaky friends will know not to play the ‘flakiness card’ with you.
Be a person of integrity. Be the inpidual who does what they say regardless of whoever is included or excluded in the equation.
No one really likes to be excluded from something truly wonderful if they can help it.
If it is going to happen without them and it would be of benefit, the flaky friend will desperately want to be involved and will instantly become reliable.
Personally, I am the type of person that does what I say I am doing. Not to prove anything to others but to be true to myself. If you do not show up or want to go, it is all on you. I invited you… you flaked… l went anyway… deal with it.
If you think I am not going because you are indecisive, you are sadly mistaken. Ask me the next day to find out whether I went or not and you might get your feelings hurt.
I don't wait for people, especially if they're flaky.
I will go out of my way to make adjustments in advance, but no more than that. In the past, I have missed out on far too many opportunities behind people flakier than frosted flakes.
When you call to ask me what type of people are chilling at the party, I’m going to tell you just like Tony the Tiger would…”They’re Grrrrreat!”
Always be the person whose words mean more than your actions. Do yourself a favor; fire your flaky friends.
Do not be their bowl of milk.